{The Father of mercies and God of all comfort}

Friday, November 9, 2012

Epiphany

It's more like a duh moment, but it came so strongly I will call it an epiphany.

I've made excuses for why I left my job, and I guess I didn't realize how badly I would want to work. I don't need to work, we just have to monitor the bank account closely and be obedient with our money as God tells us to. We've been good, always tithing, but not a lot of saving. I like to spend money, and not always on myself. I like to be able to give to our friends when they need it and I like to give gifts. We're doing fine. I just want a little extra cash to pay down the student debt ($##@#$!%* education) and put more in savings. We can't do this if I'm not working. We need my income to pay down the debt, not just pay towards it. Other than student debt, we live on cash monies.

And to my point. I've been sending out my resume and applying for jobs non-stop. Anywhere and everywhere. Hospitals, big oil companies, Craigslist you name it. Mostly looking for administrative jobs, because I know I can't get a real job at a hospital. I've also been applying for child life jobs at the hospital, which I am 100% qualified for with my degree. So, I'm sitting here waiting for a job. I think to myself everyday and speak it to the Lord, just give me a job. Sunday night as I'm drifting off to sleep the Lord tells me, "I have provided for you. It's not my lack of provision, it's your choices that have put you where you are." Duh. I left God out of the equation when I left my job (who does that!! and in this economy!). I never swallowed my pride and admitted it, but it had been lurking in my subconscious. And there it is. Of course God has provided. We have everything we need and then some. I need to suck it up and wait for the Lord.

Our pastor did a message on waiting a few weeks ago, and what it looks like to wait on God. He simply said "Keep doing the last thing the Lord told you to do." Alright, since I screwed that up, I'll just faithfully serve and work the temporary job, until it's over. Then, I'll continue to wait.

1 comment:

Emily Powell said...

I totally understand. I don't know where God is leading me right now and I want to know RIGHT NOW!