Take a breath.
We're not home yet. We're gonna make it. Praise the Lord. A song I'm relating to right now is by For King and Country "Busted Heart". Definitely speaks to my soul.
Just when I thought I was feeling normal again, the dogs scared me. I was doing the dishes and the dogs were playing by the front door and it sounded like someone opened the door. I freaked, because Ryan isn't here. The dogs had just bumped into it, loudly. My heart was thumping and I thought I would go into panic right there at the kitchen sink. However, I refocused my mind and held it together. Now my chest is all tight. Lame.
Mosby has been afraid of going through doors; the front door, the outside gate, and the elevator (in or out). But! Today when I got home and took him out he walked right onto the elevator (he's too small to climb the stairs)! I was so proud of him, and he has not gone number 2 on the carpet at all! He's a pretty fast learner I'd say.
I'm still taking my pills at night to get some sleep. Still waking up at night, not rested in the morning, and completely exhausted by the end of even a short day. I've had no caffeine since the first attack and decided to have half a soda at dinner tonight. I'm drinking chamomille now and listening to some Christian radio in hopes of focusing my mind and heart on the Lord. Keep my health in your prayers and Ryan's job (there have been some not so positive developments in management and we're afraid he'll get stuck permanently on nights). I miss my husband and he's so tired.