{The Father of mercies and God of all comfort}

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Do not be anxious...

that's easier said than done; And it shouldn't be, because the Bible says plainly in Philippians 4:6" Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." It also says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

So why is it that I've woken up suddenly twice in the last week with a "panic attack", and it's not as cool as panic at the disco. Last Thursday I woke up after being asleep about twenty five minutes. My heart was racing and I was very dizzy. I drank some water and tried to remain calm, but the pounding in my chest was really freaking me out. So, I continued to panic and tried to read through 1 Peter and pray, but my heart was so distracting me. I called my husband three times, but his phone was off, or dead. So, I called Amanda in California, because I figured she'd be awake and all my Texas people asleep by 10:00. She calmed me down and I eventually went to sleep. I woke up two times after that, but was in a normal state. I did call in the next morning though, because I had no sleep and had a tremendous headache which lasted for four days.

Then, Tuesday night I wake up after being asleep for about three hours. I was completely drenched in sweat and my heart was beating harder than the Thursday before. I was way more freaked out this time. I tried my husband, no answer. I tried Amanda, no answer (it was pretty late). I tried my parents, no answer. And I tried a co-worker who lives in my apartnemts, no answer. I was going to get my co-worker to bring me to the emergency room, because I was so dizzy I thought I was going to pass out and I didn't want to do it all alone. So instead, I called 911. I was in so much pain I didn't know what else to do. If I hadn't been so dizzy I would have driven to the emergency room myself. So, I make my way to the living room with a cold glass of water and I wait for EMS. Two guys showed up, they were firefighters, and went through the whole thing with me. They were very kind and funny; picking on each other. One guy took my blood pressure and it was perfect, legit, 110/60. He laughed and thought it was crazy, because I was clearly in a state, I couldn't stop crying. They put me on the heart monitor and it read 104 beats per minute. He told me to take a deep breath, I did, and my heart decreased to 86 beats per minute. They hung around for about twenty minutes making sure I was okay and I did not want to be transported to the hospital, because my vitals were normal.

I had a horrible time sleeping all night. I would get worked up and have to breathe deeply to calm my heart. It was difficult. So, I made a doctor's appointment for the next day, Wednesday. I even tried to go into work, but my uncrontrollable bawling made if difficult for me to do anything, so after an hour at work I was sent home. The doctor ordered an EKG, a 24 hour holter monitor, and two blood tests to check my thyroid and stuff. I think I'll know the results in a week. The doctor wanted to cover all of her bases before declaring me with an anxiety disorder, however, she did prescribe me Lorazepam just in case. I took one of the pills last night and slept well. Ryan stayed home to check on me every two hours or so. I took half on a pill tonight and I'm still feeling wound up, tense, stressed, in pain, and very emotional. I'm thinking of taking the other half.

This is the third time this has happened to me, but twice in one week as opposed to once four years ago. I'm pretty shaken and frankly scared. I think I've pinpointed my greatest stress, but will choose to leave that nameless and for the Lord.

All of this to say. I believe I am being attacked by Satan. My faith is shaken and I'm in physical pain. Release me Lord from the hold of the evil one. God, be peace and comfort in my body. Lord God I will not be anxious for you love me and I will give all my anxieties to you!


Kelli said...

:( I'm sorry. Patrick and another friend of mine been feeling attacked this week also, but nothing quite as extreme. I'll add you to my prayers.

Emily Powell said...

this week has been bad for me too. Yesterday was terrible and I know it is satan trying to wreck my life. I wake up so anxious about how the day is going to unfold and if Georgia is going to have a good day or if she is going to wake up too early and not be able to fall back asleep. Not as extreme as you but it is still taking my joy every single day. I hate it!

Jessica Krzyz said...

Cecilly! praying for you! I had no idea. Call me next time -- anytime!! I so wish I'd been there for you that night no one answered. I pray you didn't feel alone (as I'm sure you did). We are all praying together for you, you will be fine! i love you!!

Jessica Krzyz said...

also, take ur medicine!! it worked the first night. and don't start trailing off/lowering the dosage until your doctor okays it. lovelove.