{The Father of mercies and God of all comfort}

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


We have to spell that word in our apartment sometimes, because the dogs get excited when we say it and we don't always mean it. We also spell the word treat. Anyway, we took the pups to the park this weekend, because it was too gorgeous to be inside. They had a good time and Coco slipped out of his harness and tried to chase three big dogs. I almost had a heart attack. I thought he was going to run into the street. All is well. I caught him!

They liked it even though we couldn't let them off their leases. Coco will never be obedient enough to be let off the lease outside without a fence, and Mosby, well he's just a baby and he's not ready. However, they still enjoyed watching all the other dogs, people, and bikes.

His back legs slipped into the fountain

Even Coco was panting.
Fun outing to start the spring!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


...far from it. I've decided in light of recent events in my life, that I need to really set my heart on meditating on God's word daily. I will read, and pray, and even write in a prayer journal, but I don't meditate on the word like I should. So, I googled "beginner yoga poses" and got a huge list on about.com.

I had no knowledge about yoga, like zero. I found out there are five categories of positions: resting, sitting, standing, backbends, and balancing. I started doing some yoga last week as I meditate on God's word. I chose one pose from four out of the five categories:

 The child's pose

The cobbler's pose

Downward dog

Bridge pose (mine does not look like this)

I think they've been helpful. I've been sleeping better, without medication, and I feel rested in the morning. It's been a relief to rid myself of the world before I go to bed. Praise God. I plan to add two more poses this week. Probably another backbend pose (those babies are heavy!) and a balancing pose. I try to focus on a specific scripture that the Lord reveals and let God be present as I just breathe.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Easy snacks

I recently bought some granny smith apples. They are my favorites, because they aren't too sweet. However, these apples turned out to be so tart that I couldn't even eat them. I was so sad, because those were supposed to be my work snacks.

Well, I decided to solve my tart apple problem by making my own applesauce. I would have made a pie, but that takes way more time and it's hot outside. I peeled the apples and used my apple corer to slice them. Then I steamed them for a while and threw them in the blender. I had no idea what I was doing so I just used the puree function until the blender made an awful sound and then stopped, shook it up, and added a tiny bit of water that was left over from steaming the apples. I did this about three times. I added some sugar and cinnamon and I was done. It was a yummy quick treat.

We also had some leftover strawberry ice cream that I had been picking at. The carton was taking up space in the freezer and there was only a little bit of ice cream left, so I threw that in the blender also and made milkshake pops with my popsicle mold (Target dollar section last season).

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Haan Solo

Because Mosby is potty training, not quickly, the carpet is taking a beating. So, we bought a steam vac to try to clean the carpet. I call it "Haan" Solo. Ryan did his internet research, as usual, and found this guy.
He doesn't exactly match our Shark vacuum, but I'm not complaining. It's super cool and it looks very Jetson's in real life. I'm planning on making a vinegar and water solution to spray on the floor before steaming the carpets to aid in disinfecting everything. Me and "Haan" Solo have big plans for spring cleaning on my vacation next month! I can't wait to steam the entire apartment!

Thursday, March 22, 2012


We're training Mosby to potty outside, but of course, by crate training. Also, when we take him outside we give treats when he uses the restroom. We've been giving Coco treats when he goes too, as an example for Mosby. Well, we ran out of treats so we bought some of the training treats at Petsmart. Then we realized that when we go outside we have to put treats in our pockets and that's kinda gross. So, I made a little treat pouch to hang on the handle of Mosby's leash. I made it from fabric leftover from Coco's Christmas stocking.

I put a little paw print on it and I used velcro to keep it closed. I hand sewed it to the leash handle, so it won't fall off and it will be easy to break the seam if we change leashes. It's pretty handy.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Spring Purchases

I bought this dress for Easter

These linen pants from Victoria Secret (20% off plus coupon)

This belt from Forever21

I'm scoping for some wedges to wear with the dress.
I'm digging these or something similar

I'm looking for baby blue pants, but can't find any, so I'll probably just settle on a new pair of khakis.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Spring Time

It's pretty humid out here in Texas and a bit warm these days. I can tell we are turning closer towards the sun, oh to have coolness again. I have made pretty much zero spring additions to the apartment other than moving some furniture and making a wreath.

Coco and Mosby can't eat in the same place, because they will eat each other's food. So, we were feeding Mosby and putting Coco's food on the orange bench behind the couch, but Mosby learned how to jump on the couch the second day he lived with us, and then he learned how to get on the orange bench. We didn't want him to claw it up, so we moved it in front of the window, and Coco eats his food on the back of the couch. We really ought to find a solution for that. Ha.

I moved the orange bench from behind the couch and moved the couch backwards about four inches, it doesn't sound like a lot, but it looks different. The toys boxes are in the corner.

Orange bench in front of the window.
Entry looks different now.
We have a thing for gray shoes.
I had to move this white table from the entryway to put the orange bench there
and it needed to move anyway, because we've broken two piggy banks
that sat on top of that table.

The spring wreath. This picture is terrible and there is a blue spot from
the candy wreath ha.

Happy Spring everyone!

Sunday, March 18, 2012


I saw a cardiologist on Friday. She says my heart is perfectly healthy; which I never doubted. I just wanted to know why the episodes happened while I was sleeping. Still inconclusive :(  I think, because I hadn't slept well weeks before, and there were some external stressors weighing me down, that my body just flipped a circuit. The doctor said that what happened was "electrical". So, I think I had a small malfunction that caused lots of pain and frightened me.

The general practioner prescribed me the anxiety medication which I took for about two weeks, because I was still feeling a little unstable, then at the follow-up she told me to stop taking it and prescribed a beta blocker, Metoprolol, and said to discontinue the first medication. She said if I don't feel right, to take the beta blocker, which slows the heart rate, when I need it, but not everyday. The cardiologist said to take it everyday as prescribed, half twice a day, and if I had any more episodes to call her office and they'll put a month long heart monitor on me. Conflicting to say the least.

I am opting to not take any medication. If my heart is healthy there is no need to slow my heart rate everyday. So, I've gone two nights without medication. I'm starting to believe that I have an elevated stress hormone level which is causing the electrical malfunctions. But, I don't want to have to have hormone injections or take any medication for it, so I'll be making lifestyle changes. I was thinking about taking a yoga class or buying a dvd and I will meditate on God's word each night before bed. I'm going to do little projects throughout the week that will keep my mind busy, and just take it day by day.

I've also experienced some heart arrhythmias which I told the cardiologist about. She called them PVC's, premature ventricular contractions. They weren't detected on any of the tests they did and she told me they are not threathening and 99% of the time, according to studies, they are not harmful and won't affect my heart or body in a negative way; other than the fact that they are uncomfortable. I had a lot of PVC's on Friday, like 9 or 10. All in all, not exactly what I wanted to hear from the doctors, but at least my heart is healthy.

Coco goes to the doctor this week for a blood level check. They will do blood work to level out his medication for the seizures. It's been working well. At first he was having trouble using the restroom, but it seems to have worked out and he's normal again. He was looking fat and swollen poor thing. The pharmacy that the vet's office uses sucks!! I called last week to order Coco's medicine and they never charged the accoutn and never shipped the meds. I am beyond angry, because we ran out of full doses from the vet and I've been giving him half doses and last night he had a real bad seizure. I'm furious. I'm going to visit the pharmacy tomorrow and demand that they give me this first month of medication for free. Someone is going to hear from me, and it's going to be loud. Otherwise the poor fellow had been doing so well.

I think Mosby is comfortable with us. He even walks up and down the stairs now, he's a big boy. We're still working on peeing in the house. He's not very good at that yet, but he goes number 2 outside. He just drinks so much water that he can't hold it I guess, and he typically doesn't sqaut and pee in the house, he just walks and pees. It drives me crazy, but I know he'll catch on soon. He had his first vet visit last weekend, he weighed 14.7 pounds, and now he has a cold from the boosters and he can't stop sneezing, and he still isn't very fond of being in the crate at night.

Ryan had a cold last week and missed two days of work, he's well again. We're still struggling through this night shift thing and he's looking for a new position. I pray for this everyday and I miss him.

We're all hanging in there. Let us rest in the Lord and seek him for his righteousness.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012


People refer to challenges as valleys. Well here we are in the midst of some valley days my friends.

Take a breath.



We're not home yet. We're gonna make it. Praise the Lord. A song I'm relating to right now is by For King and Country "Busted Heart". Definitely speaks to my soul.

Just when I thought I was feeling normal again, the dogs scared me. I was doing the dishes and the dogs were playing by the front door and it sounded like someone opened the door. I freaked, because Ryan isn't here. The dogs had just bumped into it, loudly. My heart was thumping and I thought I would go into panic right there at the kitchen sink. However, I refocused my mind and held it together. Now my chest is all tight. Lame.

Mosby has been afraid of going through doors; the front door, the outside gate, and the elevator (in or out). But! Today when I got home and took him out he walked right onto the elevator (he's too small to climb the stairs)! I was so proud of him, and he has not gone number 2 on the carpet at all! He's a pretty fast learner I'd say.

I'm still taking my pills at night to get some sleep. Still waking up at night, not rested in the morning, and completely exhausted by the end of even a short day. I've had no caffeine since the first attack and decided to have half a soda at dinner tonight. I'm drinking chamomille now and listening to some Christian radio in hopes of focusing my mind and heart on the Lord. Keep my health in your prayers and Ryan's job (there have been some not so positive developments in management and we're afraid he'll get stuck permanently on nights). I miss my husband and he's so tired.

Monday, March 5, 2012

He's here!


Checking out his brother; Coco is disinterested.

 He loves all of the toys, and pawing Coco on the head. And he's already pooed and peed inside his crate. Oh Boy. This pup will be quite a handful. I forgot how hard it was to train a puppy.

p.s. Got the heart monitor today and had two heart palpitations this morning, yay. I'm not taking my pill before bed to try to induce an episode to be caught on the monitor because I only wear it 24 hours.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

I'll give you a hint...

and it's not for Coco, well sort of. The crate's not for Coco, but our new friend is!
We adopted a puppy from BARC on Saturday. He's an australian shepherd chow mix.
He is so cute and playful. He had to have surgery to be neutered so we get him Monday!
I am so excited!

p.s. still feeling tense in my chest, two or three heart palpitations and several feelings of anxiety, not overwhelming, but very noticable. I've been taking an anxiety pill every night before bed so at least I'm sleeping. Here's hoping the doctor finds something wrong! & Coco's been on medication since Tuesday, he's doing very well.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Do not be anxious...

that's easier said than done; And it shouldn't be, because the Bible says plainly in Philippians 4:6" Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." It also says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

So why is it that I've woken up suddenly twice in the last week with a "panic attack", and it's not as cool as panic at the disco. Last Thursday I woke up after being asleep about twenty five minutes. My heart was racing and I was very dizzy. I drank some water and tried to remain calm, but the pounding in my chest was really freaking me out. So, I continued to panic and tried to read through 1 Peter and pray, but my heart was so distracting me. I called my husband three times, but his phone was off, or dead. So, I called Amanda in California, because I figured she'd be awake and all my Texas people asleep by 10:00. She calmed me down and I eventually went to sleep. I woke up two times after that, but was in a normal state. I did call in the next morning though, because I had no sleep and had a tremendous headache which lasted for four days.

Then, Tuesday night I wake up after being asleep for about three hours. I was completely drenched in sweat and my heart was beating harder than the Thursday before. I was way more freaked out this time. I tried my husband, no answer. I tried Amanda, no answer (it was pretty late). I tried my parents, no answer. And I tried a co-worker who lives in my apartnemts, no answer. I was going to get my co-worker to bring me to the emergency room, because I was so dizzy I thought I was going to pass out and I didn't want to do it all alone. So instead, I called 911. I was in so much pain I didn't know what else to do. If I hadn't been so dizzy I would have driven to the emergency room myself. So, I make my way to the living room with a cold glass of water and I wait for EMS. Two guys showed up, they were firefighters, and went through the whole thing with me. They were very kind and funny; picking on each other. One guy took my blood pressure and it was perfect, legit, 110/60. He laughed and thought it was crazy, because I was clearly in a state, I couldn't stop crying. They put me on the heart monitor and it read 104 beats per minute. He told me to take a deep breath, I did, and my heart decreased to 86 beats per minute. They hung around for about twenty minutes making sure I was okay and I did not want to be transported to the hospital, because my vitals were normal.

I had a horrible time sleeping all night. I would get worked up and have to breathe deeply to calm my heart. It was difficult. So, I made a doctor's appointment for the next day, Wednesday. I even tried to go into work, but my uncrontrollable bawling made if difficult for me to do anything, so after an hour at work I was sent home. The doctor ordered an EKG, a 24 hour holter monitor, and two blood tests to check my thyroid and stuff. I think I'll know the results in a week. The doctor wanted to cover all of her bases before declaring me with an anxiety disorder, however, she did prescribe me Lorazepam just in case. I took one of the pills last night and slept well. Ryan stayed home to check on me every two hours or so. I took half on a pill tonight and I'm still feeling wound up, tense, stressed, in pain, and very emotional. I'm thinking of taking the other half.

This is the third time this has happened to me, but twice in one week as opposed to once four years ago. I'm pretty shaken and frankly scared. I think I've pinpointed my greatest stress, but will choose to leave that nameless and for the Lord.

All of this to say. I believe I am being attacked by Satan. My faith is shaken and I'm in physical pain. Release me Lord from the hold of the evil one. God, be peace and comfort in my body. Lord God I will not be anxious for you love me and I will give all my anxieties to you!