Sunday, January 24, 2010
So, I sure know how to burn bridges. I've done my share of tearing down in my few years being a functioning human being. I know how to cause hurt, but sometimes I don't mean to. I would like to reconcile differences on many fronts and have done some reconciliation these last few months. I've turned hate to love for a person whom I hadn't spoken to in over a year and could not look at without getting upset. I'm taking it slow; facebook messages and then I'll work up enough courage to actually see them. Some friends of old have contacted me and healing has begun. Now if only I could put the fire out on this roommate bridge. I consciously disobeyed God the other night. He gave me the opportunity I had been praying about to talk to her and I turned my back and walked out. Literally. Then at church this morning our college minister was out of town, so his associate did the teaching. He was reading out of Acts chapter four and his words just grabbed me. He was talking about not just believing in Jesus, but living it out through our actions. Now I'm not a bad person, but I do some pretty wretched things at times. However, I love the Lord and worship only him. I strive to be the person who's prayers God hears in 1 Peter. I realized today that I definitely cannot love God completely if I do not find in him the love for my roommate. I have been thinking about this for a week or so, but it came full circle this morning and it was rough to hear. My heart hurts for all the people I've destroyed with my words and actions over the years and I want to be a woman of the Lord who lifts people up and shares the good news of Jesus.